Roll with resistance instead of pushing harder
When clients push back, arguing back makes it worse — stepping back and acknowledging their perspective keeps the door open for change.
When to use this
- When a client dismisses a suggestion or says 'that won't work for me'
- When a client expresses pessimism about their ability to change
- When you feel the urge to argue for your recommendation
- When a client has tried something before and come back with reasons it failed
Why this matters
The natural instinct when a client resists a suggestion is to argue for it more forcefully. But in motivational interviewing, resistance is a signal, not an obstacle to overcome. When a client says "I can't do it" or "that won't work for me", they're not being difficult — they're telling you something important about their reality.
Pushing harder activates the psychological phenomenon of reactance: the more you argue, the more they defend their position. Rolling with resistance means stepping back, acknowledging their perspective, and staying curious.
In practice
Client: "There's no way I can cook healthy meals every night, I get home at 8pm." Coach (arguing back): "Even 20 minutes is enough — there are plenty of quick recipes." Client doubles down. Coach (rolling): "It sounds like your evenings are genuinely exhausted. What would feel realistic given that?" Client opens up about weekend meal prep as a viable alternative.
What to say
Word-for-word phrases you can use in session.
- "That makes sense — it sounds like that approach doesn't fit your life right now.
- "What would feel more realistic, given everything you've got going on?
Pause after the first line. Let the silence work — don't rush to fill it.
Try it today
When you feel the urge to defend a recommendation against a client's objection, pause and say: "Tell me more about what makes that feel hard." Notice what you learn that you would have missed by arguing.
Make it a habit
After each session, note any moment of resistance. Write down what you said, and what rolling with it would have sounded like. Use these as templates for future sessions.
Watch out for
- Agreeing too enthusiastically — 'You're absolutely right, that's too hard' — which abandons the goal entirely rather than exploring alternatives.
- Using rolling as a manipulation tactic ('I hear you, but really you should...') — clients feel the insincerity immediately and trust breaks down.
- Confusing rolling with passivity — you're still curious and engaged, just not arguing. Stay present and keep asking.
Ready to put this into practice?
Sticky Coach helps you track client habits and conversations — so nothing falls through the cracks.
More tips
Elicit change talk by asking for elaboration
When a client expresses any desire, ability, reason, or need to change, asking them to "tell you more" amplifies that motivation.
Help clients notice the gap between where they are and what they value
When clients articulate the distance between their current behaviour and their own values, the motivation to change arises from inside them — not from the coach pushing.
Use genuine affirmations to build client confidence
Specific, genuine acknowledgment of a client's strengths reinforces the identity and capability they need to sustain change — but only when it reflects something real the coach has actually observed.