Roll with resistance instead of pushing harder
When clients push back, arguing back makes it worse — stepping back and acknowledging their perspective keeps the door open for change.
Why this matters
The natural instinct when a client resists a suggestion is to argue for it more forcefully. But in motivational interviewing, resistance is a signal, not an obstacle to overcome. When a client says "I can't do it" or "that won't work for me", they're not being difficult — they're telling you something important about their reality.
Pushing harder activates the psychological phenomenon of reactance: the more you argue, the more they defend their position. Rolling with resistance means stepping back, acknowledging their perspective, and staying curious.
In practice
Client: "There's no way I can cook healthy meals every night, I get home at 8pm." Coach (arguing back): "Even 20 minutes is enough — there are plenty of quick recipes." Client doubles down. Coach (rolling): "It sounds like your evenings are genuinely exhausted. What would feel realistic given that?" Client opens up about weekend meal prep as a viable alternative.
Try it today
When you feel the urge to defend a recommendation against a client's objection, pause and say: "Tell me more about what makes that feel hard." Notice what you learn that you would have missed by arguing.
Make it a habit
After each session, note any moment of resistance. Write down what you said, and what rolling with it would have sounded like. Use these as templates for future sessions.
Ready to put this into practice?
Sticky Coach helps you track client habits and conversations — so nothing falls through the cracks.
More tips
Elicit change talk by asking for elaboration
When a client expresses any desire, ability, reason, or need to change, asking them to "tell you more" amplifies that motivation.
Read tip →Use open questions to unlock client insight
Replacing closed yes/no questions with open questions invites clients to explore their own thinking, uncovering goals, barriers, and readiness for change.
Read tip →Reflect back to show you're really listening
Reflecting what a client says — in your own words — demonstrates genuine understanding and encourages deeper exploration.
Read tip →