Help clients plan for setbacks before they happen
Clients who anticipate obstacles and pre-plan their response bounce back from stumbles quickly — instead of treating one missed session as proof that the whole attempt has failed.
When to use this
- At the end of any goal-setting conversation — before wrapping up
- When a client has a pattern of one stumble leading to full abandonment
- When starting a new behaviour that will be challenged by busy periods
- After a lapse — to rebuild with a relapse plan in place
Why this matters
The most common pattern in behaviour change is not failure — it's the collapse that follows a stumble. A client misses two gym sessions because of illness, then stops going entirely because "I've already broken it." A missed meal plan becomes "I've ruined the week." This all-or-nothing thinking is entirely predictable — and preventable.
Relapse prevention research, developed by Marlatt and Gordon and since applied across behaviour change broadly, shows that anticipating high-risk situations and pre-planning a response dramatically reduces the chance of a single slip becoming a full relapse. The coach's job is to make this planning a normal part of every goal conversation — not a pessimistic afterthought, but a practical act of preparation that treats setbacks as expected rather than shameful.
In practice
After setting a goal to train three times a week: Coach: "What's the most likely thing that could get in the way?" Client: "Work getting crazy." Coach: "And if that happens and you miss a session, what's your plan?" Client thinks. "I could do a 20-minute home workout instead of skipping." Coach: "Let's make that the rule: when work gets busy, 20 minutes at home counts. You're never starting from zero." Three months later the client has had two difficult weeks — and bounced back from both.
What to say
Word-for-word phrases you can use in session.
- "What's the most likely thing that could get in the way of this in the next two weeks?
- "And if that happens, what's the minimum you could do to keep the habit alive?
Write down the answer. Naming the obstacle and the response in advance dramatically reduces the chance of a single slip becoming a full stop.
Source: Marlatt, G.A. & Donovan, D.M. (Eds.) (2005). Relapse Prevention: Maintenance Strategies in the Treatment of Addictive Behaviors (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Try it today
At the end of your next session, after agreeing on a goal, ask: "What's the single most likely obstacle to this in the next two weeks?" Then: "And if that happens, what's the minimum you could do to keep the habit alive?" Write down the answer.
Make it a habit
Add a setback plan to every client goal: "If [obstacle], I will [minimum response]." Review it at the next session — not as a failure prompt, but as evidence that the client was prepared. A client who executes their setback plan is succeeding, not failing.
Watch out for
- Framing setback planning as pessimism — introduce it as 'practical preparation', not 'planning to fail'.
- Skipping it at the end of a session because you've run out of time — if there's only one minute left, ask 'What's the one thing most likely to get in the way?' and leave them with that.
- Making the setback plan too elaborate — a simple if-then ('if I miss a session, I do 15 minutes at home') beats a complex plan they won't remember.
Ready to put this into practice?
Sticky Coach helps you track client habits and conversations — so nothing falls through the cracks.
More tips
Ask permission before offering advice
Seeking a client's permission before sharing information or advice shifts the dynamic from expert-to-patient to collaborative, increasing receptivity.
Give feedback on effort, not outcomes
Praising the process — consistency, strategy, problem-solving — builds resilience and a growth mindset; praising outcomes alone builds fragility.
Use open questions to unlock client insight
Replacing closed yes/no questions with open questions invites clients to explore their own thinking, uncovering goals, barriers, and readiness for change.